Raising Your Parents

May 25, 2025
It feels like just yesterday when our parents taught us to tie our shoes, watched us toss our caps at graduation, or helped us move into our first homes, and into the unknowns of adult life.
Elder_care_by_Man-cauc_COMPRESSED_iStock-1095379596

Fast forward to today: the caregivers who prepared our favorite meals and championed every victory need our support to get through the week—and sometimes just to get through the day. Knowing that physical, emotional, and financial circumstances can take everyone by surprise, being proactive now can ease this transition, preserve dignity, and strengthen family bonds along the way. 

Start the Conversation with Care
The foundation of effective planning begins with honest dialogue. Choose a relaxed moment when everyone is comfortable to bring up the topic.
Set the right tone by saying: "I want to make sure we understand your wishes and support them when the time comes.” Parents may initially resist these discussions, but if you listen more than you speak, this may break through the initial discomfort.
If your requests are initially met with resistance, keep trying. After all, meaningful planning doesn’t happen in one single setting. Use the first conversation to build trust and understanding, then plan another time to chat about a targeted topic, such as organizing and reviewing documents, in conjunction with a shared activity you all enjoy. 

Organize Key Documents Together
Knowing where essential documents are will help you determine what plans are in place and where gaps exist. BCT Wealth’s Key Financial Documents and Estate Planning Documents checklists make planning easier for families.
While it will take time to identify and organize paperwork, it will help you anticipate how to proceed. Decide on a secure and accessible storage system, whether it’s a filing cabinet, a fireproof safe, or a digital solution. Ensure that trusted family members know how to access the documents when needed. This will eliminate the stress of searching for critical information during emotionally charged times.

List a Trusted Contact on Financial Accounts 
Financial fraud disproportionately targets older adults. A trusted contact is a safeguard who acts as a point of contact for financial institutions if they are concerned about an account holder’s well-being or financial situation. Our recent blog, Estate Planning: Five Steps to Simplify Your Life, emphasizes the importance of establishing a trusted contact and offers other practical financial and estate planning tips. 

Evaluate Existing Medical Policies 
Review insurance coverage, particularly healthcare policies, to understand what support is already in place for your aging parents (and what’s not). Evaluate eligibility for benefits programs like Medicare, Medicaid, veterans benefits, or community services that could provide additional support or reduce expenses.

Explore Living and Caregiving Options
Have honest conversations about aging in place, as opposed to moving into an assisted living or long-term care facility. Discussing how these options may evolve, as what may be appropriate today can shift tomorrow.
If aging in place is an option, evaluate your parents’ home for safety and accessibility. Adding bathroom grab bars, improving lighting, considering first-floor living spaces, or even adding a family safety and location sharing app to your phone may help your parents feel confident in their chosen space. 

If living independently is not an option, research different types of supportive communities. From independent living apartments to assisted living and round-the-clock nursing care, the costs depend on the level of support needed.
Investigate the costs of long-term care coverage. This coverage can protect your or your parents’ assets while ensuring everyone is prepared for future needs. Policies vary significantly in coverage and cost, based on current health status and anticipated needs. Whether your parents eventually require home care services, assisted living accommodations, or skilled nursing facilities, having appropriate coverage can help you and your family manage these substantial expenses.
If long-term care insurance isn't appropriate for you or your parents’ financial circumstances, establish a separate savings or investment account dedicated to future care expenses. Regular contributions can accumulate over time, ensuring your financial future remains secure.

Build Your Support Network
Planning for aging parents isn't a journey you should travel alone. Connect with professionals who specialize in elder care planning, such as geriatric care managers or estate attorneys who can provide guidance tailored to your family's circumstances. The BCT Wealth Advisors team takes a compassionate approach to financial planning, retirement, and long-term care planning and can help you develop a plan for the future.

 

Social media platforms such as Facebook and Nextdoor are valuable ways to crowdsource resources on healthcare, transportation assistance, meal delivery, and social activities for aging seniors (among other topics). These groups, which maintain thousands of local members, are digital gathering spaces where adult children exchange tips and offer emotional support. Members share healthcare recommendations and community resources and lessen the isolation that caregivers experience. Virtual communities can transform this journey into a shared experience, offering meaningful connections when you need them the most.

Lead with Compassion
By taking steps now, you create a foundation of care that honors your parents' wishes and protects your long-term financial and emotional needs. No matter where you are on the journey, the BCT Wealth team is available to listen, advise, and provide resources along the way. Contact us for assistance today. 

Contributed by:  Emma Pedraza, Client Coordinator, BCT Wealth Advisors

Back to blogs

About the Company

Founded in 1871, BCT - Bank of Charles Town, also known as The Community's Bank, is a wholly owned subsidiary of Potomac Bancshares, Inc. (OTC:PTBS). With approximately $896 million in assets as of March 31, 2025, the Company conducts operations through its main office, an additional eight branch offices, and two loan production offices.  BCT’s offices are located in Jefferson and Berkeley Counties (WV), Washington County (MD), and Loudoun and Stafford Counties (VA).   The Bank offers commercial lines and term loans, residential and commercial construction loans, commercial real estate loans, agricultural loans, and government contractor loans.  The Bank is also a Small Business Administration (SBA) Preferred Lender.  The Residential Lending division offers secondary market and portfolio mortgage loans, one-time close construction to perm loans, as well as home equity loans and lines of credit.  For over 70 years, BCT Wealth Advisors has provided caring and personalized trust services, growing into a premier financial management, investment strategies, and estate services provider.  The Bank also provides convenient online and mobile banking for individuals, businesses, and local governments plus free access to over 55,000 ATMs through the Allpoint® network plus another approximately 675 free access ATMs through another partnership.  BCT was voted WINNER in the LoudounNow 2024 Loudoun’s Favorite readers’ poll in four categories:  Bank, Mortgage Company, Banker, and Financial Planner.  BCT was voted a “Best of the Best” winner in the 2024 Martinsburg Journal-News Readers’ Choice Awards in three categories:  Bank, Loan Services, and Financial Planning. In 2023, American Banker selected BCT as a “Top 200 Community Bank,” an annual listing of the best performing banks in the United States with assets under $2 billion.  Since 2019, the Bank has been named a “Best Bank To Work For” by American Banker five times.

The Company's shares are quoted on the OTC Pink Sheet marketplace under the symbol "PTBS."  Individuals may purchase shares under the symbol “PTBS” by contacting Shane Bell, EVP and CFO, at sbell@mybct.bank, or through one’s personal broker.  For more information about Potomac Bancshares, Inc., and the Bank, please visit our website at www.mybct.bank.